I am a better communicator in writing than I am an oral communicator. What is in my head and heart rarely comes out of my mouth the way my heart intends. For this reason, more times than I choose to admit, I tend to stuff back words or tears...I tend to be more of a thinker and an observer rather than open myself up to vulnerability by speaking my thoughts. I get it honestly, I think, for my dad is a thinker and is a man of few words. The only difference is that my dad usually speaks with lots of wisdom, while I still have a long way to go!
I am very guarded with my feelings and thoughts. I usually tend to be drawn to people who speak their mind and do not have a hard time showing who they really are -- good or bad. It is probably because I wish I were moreso that way.
I am of the belief that "silence may be misinterpreted, but it will never be misquoted." My silence has been misinterpreted many times, but I would rather keep silent than take the risk of misrepresenting myself or hurting someone's feelings. There have been times that I have had to speak truth in others' lives that have literally turned out just plain awful. However, there IS a time to keep silent, and there IS a time to speak.
I pray that I can learn God's desire for those times I should keep silent and those times I should speak. Hearing others speak of how their 'struggle is real' helps to know that others share some of the same feelings you do, and this gives a level of comfort in the midst of your own struggles. There is strength in numbers!
If everyone portrays themselves as perfect people with no 'hiccups' in life, then one could wear one's self out by trying to 'keep up' with this unrealistic view. I pray that, while I am under constant construction, I learn how to 'come undone' with other women in order to not only be able to help them in their struggle but to also help myself.
This blog was very fitting for me today: WOMEN OF GOD: PLEASE COME UNDONE -