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Truth Is ... I'm Tired

 
 
(This song has been on replay ever since the day my worship leader introduced it to me.  It definitely has met me where I am, and I can't get enough of it! Take a moment to listen. You won't regret it.

Truth is . . . I'm tired. Have you ever been there?  You may be there now.  If not, chances are you will most likely be there at some point in your life. Truthfully speaking ... I am there, in more ways than one.  This post may be a bit uncomfortably transparent, but it is what it is... the truth.
 
While I am the happiest I have ever been in my life... I have an unbelievable husband who is my best friend and never fails to show me how much he loves me; I have two teenage boys of whom I am very proud because of the fine young men they are growing up to be; my family is healthy; but most of all and most importantly, my God is a good God and has blessed me and my family beyond measure.  Yet, I am tired.
 
Mentally tired.
 
Physically tired.
 
I am all tapped out.  I am full so full of joy but, at the same time, tired of almost everything; so much so that I can't fake it anymore.  I'm just tapped out.  Out of fuel.  I seem to be just pushing myself to even go through the motions.
 
How does one get to this point?  I can't tell you for sure;  I only have a guess.  My guess is that the rush of this fast-paced life can catch up with you, hold on, and drag you by the heels.
 
It's easy to just want to 'be' more and more every day, and to rest.  I want to be able to spend more quality time with my husband, drink up these last few years with my boys before they head off to college, nurture my family and home the way they need to be nurtured, take care of my health the way it needs to be cared for, and rest. Did I say rest?  Yes...rest! 
 
I want so much to be one of those women who 'has it all together' with an organized life, a healthy life, the perfect wife & mother, the perfect daughter/sister, the perfect employee, the perfect friend, and the perfect person all the way around.  I'm just not.  As a matter of fact, I find myself not measuring up to what I need to be at all in ANY of these areas.  You know, the 'jack of all trades but a master at none'  kind of scenario. 
 
For this reason, over the last year, I have started reprioritizing things in my life one by one. This has left me saddened in some areas of my life, with a sense of guilt in others, and in others a relief.   I realized there just had to be a change.  Women, especially, need to come to the realization that every single thing cannot be at the top of the priority list.  There must be a balance, and the balancing scales constantly move up and down as each wave, or phase, of life rushes in and out.  When there is a shift in priority, it doesn't mean that those things that are shifted down on the list cannot be shifted back up to the top again at some point, but for such a time as it is, these things are where they need to be in order to be able to function properly.
 
What do you do when you find your head spinning and you find yourself in this place of tiredness and exhaustion and you are all tapped out?   Draw near to God. - 'Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.' (James 4:8) -   'Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be added unto you.'  (Matt. 6:33)   And pray.  Pray, pray, pray.  In ALL things pray. God asks us to 'Come to Me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.' (Matthew 11:28) This is where my heart is right now - seeking the King and praying, praying, praying, and resting in His presence.  
 
I have been in a season of introspection over the last several months, which has brought me to the realization that I had gotten away, slowly, from making God my first priority in all things.  Scripture says "Seek first."  It doesn't say to seek God after your plans are made and request a blessing over your own plans/agenda.  We need to seek God and pray that He makes our desires the same as His - then all these things will be added - we will be blessed.  It doesn't mean life will be easy, but we will have peace in the midst of the storm if we allow Him to take the lead.


 
When reprioritizing things in one's life, there will be those who will not understand, but that is okay.  This is what a sweet, sweet mentoring lady told me just the other day.  She said "others will not understand, but that's okay.  God knows your heart, and that is all that matters."  Wow.  God knew exactly what I needed that day, and He used that sweet, Godly, God-fearing pillar to reassure me and show me a piece of His glory.  Such simple and few words but powerful ones for me on that day.  God is so good.  He is better to me than I deserve, and I am so very thankful.

♪ Truth is . . . I'm tired . . . So take me to the King.  I don't have much to bring. Take me to the throne; leave me there alone to gaze upon His glory, and sing to Him, I will.  Just take me to the King. ♫
 
Have you ever felt this way?  I would love to hear from you!  Post a comment, or email me @ danaholden87@gmail.com.  Give me your thoughts and, as iron sharpens iron, maybe we can encourage one another.
 
All for Him,
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